Through the looking glass(es)

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    I always imagine that I was born with glasses on. That’s a weird  musing since I’ve only been prescribed them when I was ten years old: mostly because someone noticed my grades have been consistently getting lower even when I did well during written exams. And every year my eyes just get worse. What started at a grade of 110 for nearsightedness has now reached 550 more than a decade later.

  I’ve never been made fun of because of my glasses though. I guess I’m just one of those faces that are meant to wear them so naturally that I just blend in. That or everyone has gotten so used to me wearing glasses day in and out to even bother making names, I could imagine how tiring teasing could get. Lucky because I was being hard on myself as it was.

   I always hated not having a better sight, I couldn’t be as carefree as all the other teens; and I do hate that they don’t even know how good they have it with their 20/20 vision. For one, I had troubles with the microscope during Biology class and I didn’t excel at our star-gazing and mapping project for Earth Science. It was  even an inconvenience when I first looked through a kaleidoscope.  And worse of all, there’s the unfair expectation that everyone with glasses must be very very smart. I’d get it if they imply it and make it sound like the eyes get overworked and damaged because of countless hours dedicated to studying, but most just assume that you are smart and know everything without putting in the work. The horror; needless to say I was very miserable.

   So yes, given the opportunity for a chance to improve my vision even at the expense of the rest of my senses, I will gladly take it. I know it’s an unfair deal but it’s been a wish I had since forever to gaze upon the stars and fall asleep without worrying about breaking my glasses and consequently injuring myself. I’ve wanted to be so active without having to check on my glasses and adjusting them every too often. And contact lenses aren’t the magic solution I’ve been looking for, they’re as much a nuisance as these chains and scarlet letter I’ll wear for the rest of my life.

   Of course eyeglasses are a miracle in themselves, I know that. I’m just pouring the frustration of the helplessness of this kind of impairment on them. I do sulk every once in a while.


8 thoughts on “Through the looking glass(es)”

  1. Glasses can be a royal pain, and I understand you wanting to get rid of the need to wear them. I hope you turn out to be a good candidate for the surgery and that you are able to get it before too long!

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