These are the words I wish I could have told you then and there but I couldn’t have uttered these and carry their meaning at the same time. I’m weak that way, you know this.
Although all relationships are important, at this point in time and in my little corner of the world, friendship is the most precious one. It requires a lot of effort and most of the work is centered on keeping it and making sure not to screw it up.
Before everything else, I’m sorry. Please forgive me.
Last week, I slipped-up. One conversation opener was all it took to shake the very core of our friendship. Knowing that I was at fault and that it was through carelessness makes it doubly painful for me. I keep replaying the incident over and over, wishing something could have been different and hoping against hope that I’m just overreacting.
Deep inside however, I know that things have been fragile between us. Somehow I could just feel that even after everything we’ve put into this and no matter how much we treasure it, there was one wrong turn we’ve taken. All that’s needed ever since then was an excuse. One single incident for everything to cease and be nothing more than a cherished memory.
Every time I remember what has been, there will always be a twinge in my heart and tears waiting to fall. And I will always look back at our memories because that sweet torture will be all that’s left of you.
I honestly hope things haven’t reached this point yet. This entry expresses more about my fear than about its reality.